John with his ipad which helps him communicate with others

PROJECT RESILIENCE: STORIES FROM THE FRONT Chapter 6 An Attitude of Gratitude

Many of us have recently stared out of our kitchen or bedroom windows confronted with a sudden lack of connection and an overwhelming urge to move freely in the world, both feelings that John, a resourceful young man with autism, finds familiar. In his most recent poem, this longtime friend of THE MJ PROJECT offers his experiences living with autism as an opportunity for us to walk a mile in another’s shoes while we stay at home.

To think that you’re all getting a little taste of my world

Staying at home to be safe,
But wanting to go out
Not able to do a lot of things you want to do
It’s a lot like my world
I want to be a part,
Do what everyone wants to do
I just always feel safe when I am inside 
The noises 
The smells 
They are ten times stronger for me
Every time I choose to get out 
All my senses get bombarded with information 
That I can’t screen 
I have to take it all in
I don’t get to choose 
You don’t know how exhausting it is
I can’t shut down.
I always want to get to a place 
Where I can be like everyone else 
But I just can’t 
So know when you all
Have to stay home
Think about all the choices 
You still have
And be thankful for what you get
I wish all of us 
To come out of this
More caring and more aware 

His writing speaks for itself, but we delight in any opportunity to connect with John, so we nudged him to answer a few questions for us…

Can you give us a little insight into what inspired this particular poem?

"I wanted to offer people another perspective that for someone like me, this way of life is not much different than what I am used to." -John

I kept hearing about how everyone’s lives were being so affected by the quarantine for Covid-19, and I wanted to offer people another perspective that for someone like me, this way of life is not much different from what I am used to. I think that people tend to take a lot of things for granted and they don’t appreciate the freedom that they normally have to do and say whatever they want to.  I wanted to give people perspective that could make them appreciate all that they still have, even during quarantine. I hope that it makes people live with more gratitude for the things they take for granted in their day to day lives. 

Who or what has helped you through the last two months of stay at home orders?

I haven’t been able to go to the gym, or to my Pilates class during this lock down. I really miss it because I had been getting very strong. One of the women who works with me has been doing Pilates with me at my house. She brought a DVD and said I can keep it here during this time. I have been painting a lot during this time. I have my own canvases and paints. I have enough paintings for an entire art show at this point. My Mom helps me cope with these changes, because she always takes such good care of me and she doesn’t live her life in fear. 

We know you recently started college, and you’ve been enjoying classes there. Have you discovered any new or exciting goals to focus on while spending so much time at home?

My short-term goals are to keep taking online classes that I am interested in at the College of the Sequoias, while also writing poetry for a book. I have been writing a lot during the quarantine and have really been enjoying it. My long-term goal is to write a book and display my artwork. I don’t like to plan too far in advance, because it takes away from the fun of the journey. 

That’s such sound advice for many of us these days…

I want people to know that they have a lot to be thankful for if they can talk to their loved ones and make decisions regarding what they do, because some of us aren't as lucky." -John

Any other thoughts you’d like to offer to our MJ friends and family?

I want people to know that they have a lot to be thankful for if they can talk to their loved ones and make decisions regarding what they do, because some of us aren’t as lucky. I have limitations that make me dependent on others to give me a voice and to help me carry out any ideas that I have, and I can do very little without help of some kind. I appreciate my life and what I do have and am capable of, and I want others to appreciate their lives too

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.” -Theodore Roosevelt

#hesgoingplaces

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